Hi Emma! Your header picture is very satisfying and pretty. It made me smile, which is a great thing as I get on your site.
I would suggest changing "Story 1" to the actual name of your story in the navigation bar. Now onto your actual story ...
Why did you choose Jersey Shore? Do you have a particular memory there or something that drew you to write about it? You have great character development, especially in regards to the youngest daughter.
I think it is sweet that Gianna merely wanted a snow cone. The things all the daughters wanted - tanning bed, gyms, etc - all fit the vibes of Jersey Shore. I love the applicableness. You utilize dialogue very well, and keep in line with the original story enough to make it recognizable, but altered it enough to keep it new and enjoyable. Keep it up, I am excited to see where you take your stories from here!
First, I love the home screen picture! It really makes me feel calm and peaceful and puts a smile on my face. Great choice with the background picture! Second, the story was fantastic. I absolutely love the title and it makes me think of Jersey shore. I loved that you actually set the scene in Jersey shore to really make it click with the audience lol! The fighting over the tanning beds made me laugh! You really made sure to hit all the key points of the show. One thing you should add is a laundry scene to really make sure and complete the "GTL" or Gym Tan Laundry that the guys are always talking about on the show. I love that you really got creative with this story and made it so fun to read. This story was one of a kind and I would have never thought to do a jersey shore take on that story but you did amazing! well done.
Hi Emma, I would like to start by saying I enjoy the design and layout of your portfolio. It is clear and visually pleasing as well as easy to navigate. I liked "Beauty and the Guido." I watched the Jersey Shore as a teen and thought your story lined up well with that vibe. I am also Italian-American, not from the East Coast, but I do have some distant relatives that fit that personality. The story is well written but I am curious to see in the Author's Note why you chose the Guido/Jersey Shore trope? I understand putting a modern twist on it, but I would like to know why this specifically. It works wonderful, I am just a really curious person. Similarly with the second story, I love the modern twist. It was also well written I am just again curious about why you chose to do it in this way.
Hi Emma! I think your story was great! I love the details you put into it and the way in which you made it feel so vivid like I was watching it play out in person. I used the same original story in my portfoli and ended with someting completely different whcih is so cool. Where did you get the idea to use a tanning bed, a guido and a Gold's Gym? That was a great twist and was really funny. Overall, I think you did a wonderful job and are going to have a great story book. I wonder what happened when the mother returned to her two oldest daughters without a tanning bed or the youngest daughter? It may be interesting to see what their reactions were as soon as Gianna was taken and then also once she and the guido decided that they were going to stay together?
Hi Emma! I liked the design of your portfolio. It stood out among the class list as I browsed because of its title. It was blunt and I appreciated that! I like it how it is--"Emma's Portfolio"--but if you find inspiration and decide to call it something different that would be cool too! Wow, I loved your first story. It was to see a fairy tale told with modern characters. I also liked the Gianna was shown to be different from other people shown, particularly her sisters. Having a meathead be the beast was really funny! I liked the bench PR scene as well, I know the struggle. I'm glad everything worked out for Gianna. I wonder if her mother appreciated the happy ending her daughter got? great story! Maybe you could include what PR stands for in your author's note or elsewhere in case some people have not heard of it. Keep up the good work!
First off, I think the first thing that caught my attention when looking at your portfolio was the thematic structure of your website. I really do enjoy the combination of black and the neon pink; it's definitely something that is both of high contrast, but is still easy on the eyes to see. Also, it's a design that I haven't seen a lot from before, therefore is ver simplistic and easy to navigate. In terms of the story itself, I think that it was hilarious. For the most part, I knew it was a joke the whole time, but the way that you expressed it with the utmost seriousness is honestly perfect. I don't know how you could've contained your laughter when you were writing it down! I look forward to reading more from you!
Your portfolio is set up nicely and is very easy to go through. I really enjoyed reading your stories and seeing your spin on these classic stories. I like how you modernized both stories and created characters and plots that people can kind of relate to today. The first story, “The Beauty and the Guido,” made me chuckle; the story felt comical and serious at the same time, which is a good thing. In your second story, “Set Apart,” I didn’t expect for the dad to listen to Barry’s mother and not have Ryan take over the family business. I wonder what the promise was that the father had to do whatever Barry’s mother wanted. What would have happened if the father had fought for Ryan instead of kicking him out, too? I liked in the end that Ryan and his family didn’t immediately drop everything to go back to a family that betrayed him. These stories are great and I look forward to reading more!
Hello, Let me just say I love the image you have chosen for your project. The dark, rich colors pulled me in. The two stories were overall great and quite enjoyable. I read the original version of the story you based your first one from. It was a great retelling. I love the addition of the snow-cone. I think the setting of being in Jersey is so unique and fun. What made you choose it? If I make a small suggestion. There's nothing wrong I just think it would be fun to see the events through one specific character's eyes. You could do it from the mother or from Gianna. The second was great as well. However, I don't see how saving a person is why someone is given a business. I can't wait for the rest of what you write.
First off -- your 'The Beauty and the Guido' story made me laugh at different points, but especially the part where you wrote, "... the guido went straight to the mirrors to flex and look at himself." Just from your writing I can tell you have a great sense of humor. It was a really fun and modern take of 'The Beauty and the Beast,' and I think it would make a fun movie. From meathead to gentleman -- I'm happy Gianna found someone better than a gym partner.
I think it would be helpful to have an introduction on your site for your readers. That way we could learn more about you, get a feel of what your portfolio will have before we start reading, and maybe get a peek at your motivations behind each choice of story!
Hi Emma! I really enjoyed the front of your page! I think the picture is beautiful and I love the bright colors of it, I think it really sticks out and makes me want to look at your page more which is really great. I really like your story prom queen. I think it is a very accurate representation to high school. I know by the end some people are just ready to get out of there so I think how in the beginning you talk about how the girl is ready to leave. I also think its funny how the girl goes up to the more popular ones and tries to talk to them and act like them, I think it adds some humor to the story. I also love how the girl wins at the end. I think this story is great and truly represents what a high school can be like sometimes with things like that meaning so much. But good job!
Hello Emma, The first story I read was The Beauty and the Guido. I really liked your twist on this story. I thought it was really creative and made the darkness of the original story into a more light-hearted and funnier version. The next story I read was Set Apart. I thought this story was a very realistic version of the story. The storyline that you told actually probably happens more than we know. I really like how you have turned these myth/folklore stories into more modern and realistic stories! Overall, I have really enjoyed reading your stories and look forward to reading more of your portfolio.
Hello again, Emma! This week’s feedback is focused on the author’s notes and I also read the third story, “Prom Queen,” that you added to your portfolio. It was a fun read! I like that the main character was bold and brave and she did not let Nicole or the other popular girls stop her. She did her own thing, but it was fun to see her take down the hierarchy. I wonder how her name ended up on the ballot; although, I guess no one really knows! The author’s note for this story is helpful in the reasoning for your story plot. Additionally, you provide good summaries of the source stories, which help to understand the changes you made. I like that you write stories with a more modern vibe and I’m always impressed with your creativity. What made you write these stories with modern settings? Also, what made you choose these stories for you to write? Overall, your stories and author’s notes are great -- keep it up!
Hey Emma, This is my first time visiting your page and your homepage immediately caught my attention. Love you homepage design and layout. I think your story was great! I love the details you put into it and the way in which you made it feel so vivid like I was watching it play out in person.I look forward to seeing your finishing touches as we reach the end of the semester, but so far I love it. Great work!
Hi Emma! This is my third time visiting your site, I always love the style of writing you have. For your author's note on your story that is a retelling of "The Three Roses", I laughed when you were describing the meathead appearance vanishing off of the man in order for him to become a sophisticated gentleman. I really like how you went into depth with your author's note and described the differences between your story and the original. Without you pointing these things out, I may not have caught them! Overall, I really liked your story and Author's note!
.jpg){kind=link}
Hi Emma! Your header picture is very satisfying and pretty. It made me smile, which is a great thing as I get on your site.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest changing "Story 1" to the actual name of your story in the navigation bar. Now onto your actual story ...
Why did you choose Jersey Shore? Do you have a particular memory there or something that drew you to write about it? You have great character development, especially in regards to the youngest daughter.
I think it is sweet that Gianna merely wanted a snow cone. The things all the daughters wanted - tanning bed, gyms, etc - all fit the vibes of Jersey Shore. I love the applicableness. You utilize dialogue very well, and keep in line with the original story enough to make it recognizable, but altered it enough to keep it new and enjoyable. Keep it up, I am excited to see where you take your stories from here!
First, I love the home screen picture! It really makes me feel calm and peaceful and puts a smile on my face. Great choice with the background picture! Second, the story was fantastic. I absolutely love the title and it makes me think of Jersey shore. I loved that you actually set the scene in Jersey shore to really make it click with the audience lol! The fighting over the tanning beds made me laugh! You really made sure to hit all the key points of the show. One thing you should add is a laundry scene to really make sure and complete the "GTL" or Gym Tan Laundry that the guys are always talking about on the show. I love that you really got creative with this story and made it so fun to read. This story was one of a kind and I would have never thought to do a jersey shore take on that story but you did amazing! well done.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma,
ReplyDeleteI would like to start by saying I enjoy the design and layout of your portfolio. It is clear and visually pleasing as well as easy to navigate. I liked "Beauty and the Guido." I watched the Jersey Shore as a teen and thought your story lined up well with that vibe. I am also Italian-American, not from the East Coast, but I do have some distant relatives that fit that personality. The story is well written but I am curious to see in the Author's Note why you chose the Guido/Jersey Shore trope? I understand putting a modern twist on it, but I would like to know why this specifically. It works wonderful, I am just a really curious person. Similarly with the second story, I love the modern twist. It was also well written I am just again curious about why you chose to do it in this way.
Hi Emma! I think your story was great! I love the details you put into it and the way in which you made it feel so vivid like I was watching it play out in person. I used the same original story in my portfoli and ended with someting completely different whcih is so cool. Where did you get the idea to use a tanning bed, a guido and a Gold's Gym? That was a great twist and was really funny. Overall, I think you did a wonderful job and are going to have a great story book. I wonder what happened when the mother returned to her two oldest daughters without a tanning bed or the youngest daughter? It may be interesting to see what their reactions were as soon as Gianna was taken and then also once she and the guido decided that they were going to stay together?
ReplyDeleteHi Emma! I liked the design of your portfolio. It stood out among the class list as I browsed because of its title. It was blunt and I appreciated that! I like it how it is--"Emma's Portfolio"--but if you find inspiration and decide to call it something different that would be cool too! Wow, I loved your first story. It was to see a fairy tale told with modern characters. I also liked the Gianna was shown to be different from other people shown, particularly her sisters. Having a meathead be the beast was really funny! I liked the bench PR scene as well, I know the struggle. I'm glad everything worked out for Gianna. I wonder if her mother appreciated the happy ending her daughter got? great story! Maybe you could include what PR stands for in your author's note or elsewhere in case some people have not heard of it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteEmma,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I think the first thing that caught my attention when looking at your portfolio was the thematic structure of your website. I really do enjoy the combination of black and the neon pink; it's definitely something that is both of high contrast, but is still easy on the eyes to see. Also, it's a design that I haven't seen a lot from before, therefore is ver simplistic and easy to navigate. In terms of the story itself, I think that it was hilarious. For the most part, I knew it was a joke the whole time, but the way that you expressed it with the utmost seriousness is honestly perfect. I don't know how you could've contained your laughter when you were writing it down! I look forward to reading more from you!
Hey Emma!
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio is set up nicely and is very easy to go through. I really enjoyed reading your stories and seeing your spin on these classic stories. I like how you modernized both stories and created characters and plots that people can kind of relate to today. The first story, “The Beauty and the Guido,” made me chuckle; the story felt comical and serious at the same time, which is a good thing. In your second story, “Set Apart,” I didn’t expect for the dad to listen to Barry’s mother and not have Ryan take over the family business. I wonder what the promise was that the father had to do whatever Barry’s mother wanted. What would have happened if the father had fought for Ryan instead of kicking him out, too? I liked in the end that Ryan and his family didn’t immediately drop everything to go back to a family that betrayed him. These stories are great and I look forward to reading more!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteLet me just say I love the image you have chosen for your project. The dark, rich colors pulled me in.
The two stories were overall great and quite enjoyable. I read the original version of the story you based your first one from. It was a great retelling. I love the addition of the snow-cone. I think the setting of being in Jersey is so unique and fun. What made you choose it? If I make a small suggestion. There's nothing wrong I just think it would be fun to see the events through one specific character's eyes. You could do it from the mother or from Gianna. The second was great as well. However, I don't see how saving a person is why someone is given a business. I can't wait for the rest of what you write.
Hi, Emma!
ReplyDeleteFirst off -- your 'The Beauty and the Guido' story made me laugh at different points, but especially the part where you wrote, "... the guido went straight to the mirrors to flex and look at himself." Just from your writing I can tell you have a great sense of humor. It was a really fun and modern take of 'The Beauty and the Beast,' and I think it would make a fun movie. From meathead to gentleman -- I'm happy Gianna found someone better than a gym partner.
I think it would be helpful to have an introduction on your site for your readers. That way we could learn more about you, get a feel of what your portfolio will have before we start reading, and maybe get a peek at your motivations behind each choice of story!
Hi Emma!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the front of your page! I think the picture is beautiful and I love the bright colors of it, I think it really sticks out and makes me want to look at your page more which is really great.
I really like your story prom queen. I think it is a very accurate representation to high school. I know by the end some people are just ready to get out of there so I think how in the beginning you talk about how the girl is ready to leave. I also think its funny how the girl goes up to the more popular ones and tries to talk to them and act like them, I think it adds some humor to the story. I also love how the girl wins at the end. I think this story is great and truly represents what a high school can be like sometimes with things like that meaning so much. But good job!
Hello Emma, The first story I read was The Beauty and the Guido. I really liked your twist on this story. I thought it was really creative and made the darkness of the original story into a more light-hearted and funnier version. The next story I read was Set Apart. I thought this story was a very realistic version of the story. The storyline that you told actually probably happens more than we know. I really like how you have turned these myth/folklore stories into more modern and realistic stories! Overall, I have really enjoyed reading your stories and look forward to reading more of your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHello again, Emma! This week’s feedback is focused on the author’s notes and I also read the third story, “Prom Queen,” that you added to your portfolio. It was a fun read! I like that the main character was bold and brave and she did not let Nicole or the other popular girls stop her. She did her own thing, but it was fun to see her take down the hierarchy. I wonder how her name ended up on the ballot; although, I guess no one really knows! The author’s note for this story is helpful in the reasoning for your story plot. Additionally, you provide good summaries of the source stories, which help to understand the changes you made. I like that you write stories with a more modern vibe and I’m always impressed with your creativity. What made you write these stories with modern settings? Also, what made you choose these stories for you to write? Overall, your stories and author’s notes are great -- keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHey Emma,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your page and your homepage immediately caught my attention. Love you homepage design and layout. I think your story was great! I love the details you put into it and the way in which you made it feel so vivid like I was watching it play out in person.I look forward to seeing your finishing touches as we reach the end of the semester, but so far I love it. Great work!
Hi Emma! This is my third time visiting your site, I always love the style of writing you have. For your author's note on your story that is a retelling of "The Three Roses", I laughed when you were describing the meathead appearance vanishing off of the man in order for him to become a sophisticated gentleman. I really like how you went into depth with your author's note and described the differences between your story and the original. Without you pointing these things out, I may not have caught them! Overall, I really liked your story and Author's note!
ReplyDelete